Catching Up
by Klavieres
Summary: Naruto has had enough of Madara's seemingly infinite source of power, and finally calls him out on it. In the middle of the battle field, no less. It's a wonder Gaara hasn't strangled him yet.


**I do not own Naruto nor any of Kishimoto's characters**

**-xXXXx-**

To say that Naruto was shocked when he saw what was apparently the real Uchiha Madara as a zombie would be the biggest understatement since some idiot had said Sasuke wasn't that focused on revenge. He remembered overhearing the jounin teachers theorizing about that 'Tobi' is some guy named Obito that Kakashi apparently knew, but then he had to leave because Kakashi had overheard, became pissed, and proceeded to violently threaten the 'stupid asses,' as he so eloquently put it, and honestly Naruto didn't want to get caught in that whole nasty mess.

So Gaara attacked Madara, because the Uchiha patriarch looked like he was in his own little world, but he dodged and landed on the ground in front of them. Naruto thought, _oh, he wouldn't attack us head-on since there's, what, five hundred of us and only two of them_, but no, he goes and throws a huge ass wall of fire at them that takes ten water shinobi to get rid of.

So while Naruto's sitting there, gaping, because that was honestly the _largest_ fire jutsu he has ever seen, Madara's running through the crowd and slaughtering people like they're civilians. Gaara's nearly freaking out beside him, throwing sand at him at every chance he can get, and suddenly Madara has this huge skeleton thing around him and can't be touched through it at all.

"Okay, okay, hold on!" Naruto shouted, effectively catching the attention of the important people around him, but unfortunately not in time to stop Madara from batting away a few sand shinobi like flies so that they slammed rather painfully into some rocks.

"What are you _doing_?" Gaara asked in pure confusion.

"I believe he's pausing the battle," Madara put in, swiping his sword straight through Gaara's sand and killing a few people.

"You can't _pause _a battle," Gaara stated, frowning at Madara then Naruto.

"Well, I am." Naruto crossed his arms. "Problem?"

"Just a little, yes!" Gaara snapped. "Do you not see the dozens of people being massacred around you?"

"They'd be massacred, anyways," Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "What I want to know is," he whipped his finger to point at Madara, "...the hell is your problem?"

The zombie paused and blinked. "My problem?"

"Yes, your problem!" Naruto threw his hands in the air. "What the fuck is up with you?"

Madara rose an eyebrow. "Well, I have quite a few problems at the moment. My main peeve is that I'm _dead_, and the next would be that I'm mainly being controlled by some unknown idiot."

"I resent that," the Tsuchikage, as Kabuto, put in.

"That doesn't answer why you're so damn OP," Naruto scowled.

"OP?" Madara asked.

"Overpowered!" Naruto sighed angrily, rolling his eyes. "Did you not have video games back in your day?"

"I do not recognize the phrase, so I assume not," Madara deadpanned.

"It's an unimportant electronic game teens spend all their time on," Gaara put in helpfully.

"Well, there's your answer," Madara said, turning back to Naruto.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked in confusion.

"You spend all your time playing these 'video games.' I did not have them in my time, so I actually spent my time doing useful things such as training."

"I do too train!" Naruto objected, offended. "I haven't touched a video game in four years!"

"I'm too busy to play games," Gaara frowned, "I'm always doing paperwork."

"Which explains why you are a kage, but too weak to beat me," Madara said haughtily. "And then I _am_ an Uchiha."

"Alright, asshole," Naruto griped. "If you're so _amazing_, why didn't _you_ get the position of Hokage?"

"That election was a fluke," Madara sniffed.

"Really," Naruto deadpanned.

"Yes, really."

"And you _didn't _lose to Senju Hashirama in a fight."

"Well, seeing as I'm alive and he is not- no, I did not lose."

"You call that being alive?" Gaara asked.

"I'm not six feet under," Madara corrected.

"Well, Hashirama isn't either, technically," Kabuto put in. "He's more spread over the land injected into God knows who, including, but not limited to, you, the Konoha Anbu Yamato, and Shimura Danzo."

"Did you say something?" Naruto asked the forgotten man.

"Not at all," Kabuto replied smoothly.

"He was a good kid," Madara mused.

"Hashirama?" Kabuto asked.

"The fuck goes through your head? Of course not," Madara scoffed. "That bastard's grave can go be pissed on. No, I meant Shimura Danzo." He smiled nostalgically. "Always such a militant little shit, trying to beat people half to death when he wanted his way."

"I think that's why he was just killed," Naruto put in.

"He lasted this long?" Madara looked surprised. "Well."

"Is this battle still paused?" Gaara wondered.

"Wait a moment, I'm catching up," Madara said, then looked at Naruto. "How'd he die?"

"Uchiha Sasuke killed him," Naruto shrugged.

"That's disappointing," Madara frowned.

"That an Uchiha killed him?" Kabuto wondered.

"That an Uchiha named their child after Sarutobi Sasuke. What the hell is wrong with his parents?"

"They're dead," Naruto answered a little unhappily.

"I'm sure their son killed them for giving him such a ridiculous name, then," Madara shrugged.

"Their son did kill them," Naruto snapped. "But it wasn't Sasuke."

"And what was that son's name?" Madara asked.

Naruto frowned. "Itachi."

"My theory does not change," Madara smirked.

"Alright, I'm unpausing this fight!" Naruto said, throwing his hands in the air.

"_Finally_!" Gaara said in relief.

"No, wait a moment," Madara said, crossing his arms and smiling. He ignored Gaara's impatient noise. "I'm curious now. What about Uchiha Kagami?"

"Who?" Naruto made a face.

"Guess you don't know him," Madara hummed. "Then, Sarutobi Hiruzen?"

"He died three years ago," Naruto scowled.

"I'm not surprised," Madara shrugged. "He wore his heart on his sleeve. He and Danzo used to fight almost always."

"Are we done?" Naruto snapped. "Now that you've insulted people I care about?"

"Not quite," Madara said patiently. "What of Mito Uzumaki?"

"You mean Mito Senju?" Naruto clarified. "The first Kyuubi jinchuuriki?"

"She married a _Senju_?" Madara exclaimed, looking shocked. "And she was the _Kyuubi container_?"

"Yea, she married Hashirama."

"What has the world come to?" Madara asked in what could only be described as horror.

Naruto raised his arms to gesture to the battlefield as an explanation.

"Where is she now?" Madara asked, ignoring Naruto's sarcasm.

"Dead? I don't know, it's been like, a hundred years," Naruto shrugged impatiently.

"She's an Uzumaki, she can live for longer than a hundred years," Madara scowled.

"Well,_ I _don't know where she is," Naruto scowled right back. "She probably died when the kyuubi was extracted from her. That isn't exactly easy, you know."

"Amen," Gaara put in. "Are we done now?"

"And where is the kyuubi now?" Madara asked, ignoring him.

"...In another Uzumaki," Naruto dodged.

"It's in him," Kabuto said bluntly.

"Screw you," Naruto snapped.

"In this body? I dare you," Kabuto shot back.

"Okay, we're done!" Gaara finally snapped, throwing a rather large amount of sand at all of them.

"Impatient little bastard, aren't we?" Madara sneered as he brushed off the attack easily.

"Uh, hello? I'm on your side!" Naruto shouted.

"Then stop chatting it up with the enemy and _fight them_!" Gaara shouted right back.

"Okay, _okay, geeze,_" Naruto said.

**-xXXXx-**

**I have access to a desktop computer, now! :D I can upload again!**


End file.
